Restoring the Confederacy Theater

Restoring the Confederacy Theater

Dad’s a manwhore. On his first date with Mom, he made her watch a bunch of filthy Betamax tapes with him. She let him. Dad was a banker from a good family. Mom’s dad set the date up. And on rolled the Betamax. Because this was the seventies, I like to picture this all...
No Good for Digging

No Good for Digging

A plumber died in the trenches. The red earth caved, made a sucking sound as the cold clay swallowed his knees and then the topsoil cascaded in a sigh. In that first second of his boots sinking, he thought about wet socks. When the ground viced his chest, he imagined...
The Elimination Diet

The Elimination Diet

He was cannonballed out of oblivion six weeks early, slick and bloody, head ripe as a cherry, neck raw where his life cord had nearly choked him in the womb. His mother said he had “ancient eyes” and named him after a great-uncle who’d been gassed in Auschwitz....
These Things Take Time

These Things Take Time

There were five Schlegel sisters and they all grew up and moved away, two to Europe, one to Texas, another to California and the last one across town, to a condo on Roswell Road. Two of them had graduate degrees. One was a CPA, another a PhD. Three of them were...
Blood Kin

Blood Kin

The desk clerk at the Day’s Inn was reading a book propped on his wide stomach. “Yes, ma’am?” A starchy shirt collar cut into his neck, forcing the fat up and over. “How much for a room?” “Thirty.” My grandmother had pressed a $50 into my hand when I kissed her...
How a Perfect Husband Acts

How a Perfect Husband Acts

Prep Brent and Sheila have a perfect marriage and also a dinner party. Our wives make us go so we can see how a perfect husband acts. A perfect husband shaves daily, quits at two beers, does not adjust his privates at back-to-school night, not that any of us have done...